It happens all the time in real life
Jan. 2nd, 2005 11:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fellmamaThis is cut so you don't have to read it if you're sick of me bitching about this stuff. Seriously, this is Mary in full self-pity mode.
My entire life, I've always known what was coming. I knew another year of school would start in September, regular as clockwork, and then I knew I would go to college. But now I don't know what's going to happen. I'm sure I can get in to grad school (assuming, of course, that I can hold off my nervous breakdown long enough to graduate). But I'm not sure I can get into someplace good, someplace I'd be happy at, someplace I'd be proud to attend, and, frankly, I'm not sure it would be fair if I did. I honestly don't know what I would research in grad school. I'm very fond of the notion of doing what most professors seem to do; that is, find something they like, read a lot about it, write a few papers, and move on. But a dissertation requires, shall we say, substantially more commitment. I switched topics for my seminar paper twice (managing to seriously piss off the prof in the process), and I haven't yet managed to hit on a thesis subject I can stomach the thought of studying for a year.
The job front is even worse. I don't have any marketable skills. Or at least any that aren't marketable outside of a tiny, tiny niche. I realize that I sound like I'm fishing for compliments, but I'm not. I don't want to hear about how [positive adjective] I am, and I don't wanna hear how employers will just be lining up to offer me 120K positions with residency in London. Because they won't.
So what do I do? Anna's comment seems the most constructive so far: join Americorps and try to get my shit together. Americorps sure wouldn't hire me--I'm not nice enough to help people, and they must have measures in place for weeding out future child-slaughters. But it would at least be a plan of action.
Of course, if I do suck if up and claw my way through grad school, you'll be rereading the previous paragraph in 2012.
Lucky you.
Resolved: no more reading Something Positive and listening to Steve Goodman late at night.
My entire life, I've always known what was coming. I knew another year of school would start in September, regular as clockwork, and then I knew I would go to college. But now I don't know what's going to happen. I'm sure I can get in to grad school (assuming, of course, that I can hold off my nervous breakdown long enough to graduate). But I'm not sure I can get into someplace good, someplace I'd be happy at, someplace I'd be proud to attend, and, frankly, I'm not sure it would be fair if I did. I honestly don't know what I would research in grad school. I'm very fond of the notion of doing what most professors seem to do; that is, find something they like, read a lot about it, write a few papers, and move on. But a dissertation requires, shall we say, substantially more commitment. I switched topics for my seminar paper twice (managing to seriously piss off the prof in the process), and I haven't yet managed to hit on a thesis subject I can stomach the thought of studying for a year.
The job front is even worse. I don't have any marketable skills. Or at least any that aren't marketable outside of a tiny, tiny niche. I realize that I sound like I'm fishing for compliments, but I'm not. I don't want to hear about how [positive adjective] I am, and I don't wanna hear how employers will just be lining up to offer me 120K positions with residency in London. Because they won't.
So what do I do? Anna's comment seems the most constructive so far: join Americorps and try to get my shit together. Americorps sure wouldn't hire me--I'm not nice enough to help people, and they must have measures in place for weeding out future child-slaughters. But it would at least be a plan of action.
Of course, if I do suck if up and claw my way through grad school, you'll be rereading the previous paragraph in 2012.
Lucky you.
Resolved: no more reading Something Positive and listening to Steve Goodman late at night.
