It can't spell "unkind"

Well, here I am in beautiful Columbia, S.C., where it is ninety-two degrees and a million percent (conservative estimate) humidity. I hate southern weather.
My family is here in force, and I very much enjoy 98% of them. It's the other 2% that gets me. We managed to get through the rehearsal dinner without undue incident, though, which is good. These lame-ass Baptists didn't even have champagne for the toasts. Cheap bastards. Sparkling grape juice just isn't the same.